|
[26 Jun 2009|07:22pm] |
ugh... things have been going so well lately :) i've been really happy as of late.
corey and i have been having a lot of fun and i've been catching up with old friends as well as making new ones... i have sooo much stuff i want to do this summer! i hope i can get it all done before school starts again in the fall...
here's a list of some things: amusement parks, the zoo, zoombezi bay, frisbee golfing, hollywood undead, camping, pittsburgh, getting tan, buckeye lake, new tattoo, tragus piercing.......
theres more than that but you get the gist
ahhhh, my little bro turns 20 tomorrow! can you believe it!1! i love that boy...
sljljglkjgodij love life! :)
|
|
|
[15 Jun 2009|03:33pm] |
how did i become such a mean person? i guess maybe i've never realized exactly how mean i've become until corey started yelling at me everyday for being so mean. he's right.. i am out of control and he has every right to defend himself. he says i cry to make him feel bad, but i cry because i'm female and know what an idiot i'm being. i can never be the first to apologize.. i'm always so hard headed. he just stormed out of the apartment and left for work. i deserve it. so here i sit, bawling, trying to figure out how to change my ways before it destroys my relationship.
because that's where this is headed.. if i can't stop being so damn mean corey will get fed up with me and leave. but how do i stop being mean if i can't even control it? should i see a counselor? fuck i don't even know anymore........
i think its a mass buildup of all of this shit... primarily me turning into my mother. past relationships. me being bullheaded and set in my ways. having no one to talk to so i just eventually build everything up and snap at corey. rip his face off. sometimes he deserves it, just not on a daily basis. *puts face in hands* how do i take back all the mean shit i've done? as much as everyone else may hate corey, i love him with all my heart and i'm sorry for hurting him.
i don't want to have this black heart.
i don't want to be alone anymore.
at this moment i've never been so sorry to hurt all the people in my life.
i am just one big fuckup. a big mean fuckup.
i know that deep down inside i'm not a mean hearted person, i'm actually quite emotional and giving and all that shit, i just don't know how to be other than the way i've always been. walls built up... mean defensive sarcastic attitude.
i just want to be happy.. that's all i really want. i want to make the people around me happy.
instead i sit here crying... sorry for all my wrongdoings... i just wish that i could take it back. i wish i could be that laidback happy girl i used to be. instead i got washed up in all sorts of shit and now look at me. i can barely stand to look at myself. *sigh*
what happened to the days where everything was so much more easy? those days are long gone.. and now i have the future to worry about..
this is in no way meant to make anyone feel sorry for me.. i am just i guess acknowledging the fact that i know i am mean. i know i need to change my ways...
|
|
|
[13 Feb 2008|08:02pm] |
|
okay, so this is a valentine's day card. and yes, i know all of the assumptions that go along with giving said card. but don't worry. this isn't one of those mushy gushy, you're-the-only-one-for-me, my-life-began-when-i-met-you type cards. this is just a, "hey, you're cool and i kinda like you" card, minus all the I-wanna-have-your-babies stuff. i'm not saying you're "my soul mate" or "my one true love." i don't wanna make you run down the aisle, count the stars in the sky, or clutch a box of tissues in your hand as you read this. all i want to say is, "you're neat and i think you're starting to grow on me."
|
|
| i think this song sums it all up... |
[03 Feb 2008|04:40pm] |
I don't want to wonder
If this is a blunder
I don't want to worry whether
We're GOING TO stay together
'Till we die
I don't want to jump in
Unless this music's thumping
All the dishes rattle in the cupboards
When the elephants arrive
I want to love you madly
I want to love you now
I want to love you madly, way
I want to love you, love you
Love you madly
I don't want to fake it
I just want to make it
The ornaments look pretty
But they're pulling down the branches
Of the Tree
I don't want to think about it
I don't want to talk about it
When I kiss your lips
I want to sink down to the bottom
Of the sea
I want to love you madly
I want to love you now, yeah
I want to love you madly, way
I want to love you, love you
Love you madly
I don't want to hold back
I don't want to slip down
I don't want to think back to the one thing that I know I
Should have done
I don't want to doubt you
Know everything about you
I don't want to sit across the table from you
Wishing I could run
I want to love you madly
I want to love you now
I want to love you madly, way
I want to love you, love you
Love you madly
i need to stop worrying about shit.. and let stuff happen as it goes...
|
|
| weee |
[28 Jan 2008|12:19am] |
i have a giant ass hickey on my neck
and someone called me a tramp today
not gunna lie.. i am amused...
|
|
|
[01 Jan 2008|06:52pm] |
|
ooohhh mannnnn....................
|
|
| so |
[23 Dec 2007|04:16pm] |
the wii is seriously the coolest thing ever created by man. not even kidding.
i know i'm way behind in saying that, but i played it for the first time last night.. and i've never had so much fucking fun!
as soon as i can possibly buy one.. i'm getting one...
|
|
|
[15 Dec 2007|05:58pm] |
i'm happy.
just thought i'd throw that out there.
|
|
| back the fuck up..... |
[18 Nov 2007|10:35pm] |
i shouldn't get so fucking worked up. but i want to kill this chick.. and her ovaries. LAY OFF MY SHIT. no need to write him a GAY ASS POST every 5 FUCKING SECONDS. GET IT? YOU SUCK.
i'm talking some kidney punches.. shoving my fucking fist down her god damn throat, ripping out her ovaries, and fucking thrashing the fuck out of them. then punching her in the fucking face. take that, bitch.
lmao. i'm sooo territorial. that's frightening. normally i don't give a fuck, but this pisses me off. lol..
he makes me want a relationship.
...... and that scares the fuck out of me.....
|
|
|
[01 Nov 2007|02:29pm] |
Some days I really feel like my head is going to explode. So much shit going on.... buhhhhhh.................
On top of that, my BA (bachelor of art) review is dec 6th. Basically a committee is going to review all the art work i've done here up until now. i have to talk about my work and make sure everything comes off as presentable. well, when i get nervous i fucking babble. i talk really fast and sound like a moron. it's just that this is like the say all of college, once i've got my ba, i'm golden.. but if i don't get in, i have no idea what the fuck i'm going to do with my life. so, in the meantime i have to write a statement of intent and start cleaning up all of my art work. i'm meeting with someone in a couple weeks to talk about which work i should pick and what i should talk about. i hope she says good things, i feel like i'll worry less.
got hired at pac sun in lancaster again for the holiday. they called me a couple hours after the interview. so yippee for money. maybe christmas won't suck as bad as i thought it would. lol. 40% off as well, booyah.... they've already got me on the schedule.. so now i have to balance school with work.. eep.. last year i didn't start til dec.. but hey i can't really complain.. i work next friday and then there's the illinois game up here, meaning i'd have to drive back up. then i have laundry to do, so i'd have to go back home. and with no school monday, i'd definitely go home. so i decided to sell my ticket. put it on facebook, hoping for maybe 40.. since i bought it for 30. well, someone offered me 75 fucking dollars for it. fuck yeah. i'm sure i could get more if i left it on there longer. but fuck man, i can't deny 75 dollars. i need that money. so i'm meeting up with the kid tomorrow to exchange.. =]
gotta schedule here in about an hour.. i found the perfect schedule for next quarter.... no class til 12... no class fridays.. and i'd be home most days by 5.... fuck yeah. well i got on there to check out how many seats were available.. well theres like 2 seats left for the class i really need to get into.. i mean i could always rearrange my sched and still have the same classes, but i'd have to get up early and shit.. well, fuck that. *crosses fingers*
i think kelsey and i are getting pictures taken for the parental units for christmas. theyre always bitching about not having any of us.. and i never took senior pictures or anything. psh *rolls eyes* so i called goodrich, super nice guy to talk to, and we're gonna get them taken in a couple week. i'm sure its gunna cost a fuckload, but whatever. that's all theyre getting and they can deal. i hope kelsey can keep mum about it though, so no one realizes what the fuck we're doing. also-- hope my purple stays in until we get them taken. i really don't want the bleached part of my hair coming through- i guess if need be i can get ahold of my aunt and have her redye it in the shop. bet my parents are gunna love having xmas pictures with me having purple hair. oh well- i love it =]
i keep forgetting to get down to fate and schedule a touch up for my tattoo. i've meant to do it for like a month.. maybe if i have time tomorrow afternoon i'll get over there...
uh, this post sucks.. i need to stop sitting here and eating this bag of chips in front of me.. wee.....
|
|
|
[21 Oct 2007|12:04am] |
i feel like i have a lot to say...
good news is, i'm fully alright.. and nothing is wrong with me. thank god =]
if i've got time tomorrow, i might update this shit..
fo realz
|
|
| i will have these by christmas.. |
[12 Oct 2007|10:06pm] |
hundred bucks out of my pocket.. but i so need to own those.. i want the pantera and nin ones she has as well, but i can't do 200 bucks.. i wish she'd make me a deal since i buy from her all the time..
|
|
| i dunno man.. |
[11 Oct 2007|03:06pm] |
i'm kind of to the point where i'm almost over this. like... why get my hopes up? honestly. things will never change. i'm just not down for the bullshit or the being lied to. well, not necessarily lied to, just not being told what's honest.
i'm not going to fight for it. i'll never win. i'm not going to try and be someone i'm not so i can win someone over. foooool.
i really just don't know.. i don't think i'm down for this.. i'm not down for games..
|
|
| buh buh baaaa |
[07 Oct 2007|08:09pm] |
i guess i'm gunna be the joker for halloween. i found this rad skirt that i'm going to wear as a dress and a purple jacket from goodwill. i got green hairspray, face paint, and wicked fake eyelashes.. i hope it all looks ok in the end.. kinda wish i had someone to go to the halloween parties w/.. all my friends will have their bfs there.. oh well.. i'll just get too hammered to care.
i ran into like 239847238947 people today. people at the fair. miles!! who i haven't seen forever. i hope he ends up hanging with misty and i soon. he's sooo hot! he's turned into such a man! like he used to be fucking hot but now he's tall and filled out with chin pubes.. hahah.. i just hope he decides to leave his gf at home.. then in krogers i ran into colin, who lived with aaron back in the day. i said hey just to be nice and he had no idea who the fuck i was. i just asked how his new job and place was.. really awkward.. mostly b/c he had no idea who the fuck i was.. lol...
ugh. i hate school work. fuck this.
i don't feel right. i want to bawl. and i'm lonely. yay life.
|
|
|
[03 Oct 2007|11:14pm] |
i don't give a fuck what anyone says... i am loving the new down album.
i must be out of the loop.. i guess coc is coming out with a new cd sometime. yay for that. and megadeth has this huge ass boxed set coming out next week... i'm thinking it'll be 50 bucks or more, but i will be adding that to my collection for sure... i need to get the new season of my name is earl as well, but i'm debating on waiting til the price goes down in a couple months.. or ebaying it... transformers comes out on dvd soon too.. ugh.. so much for having any money...
in other news, oct 19th should be my very last day at the doctor for a long time. *crosses fingers* that'll be the big test and then it will all be said and done i hope. i just want this shit taken care of so i won't have to worry anymore.
hmmm.. that is all..
|
|
| this pain will never leave me, it's scarred upon my brain.. |
[27 Sep 2007|10:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
man i never update this shit. i really need more lj friends. where aaarrre youuu peopleeee
life really hasn't been treating me too bad lately. i can't complain. classes are good. the big portfolio review will be at the beginning of dec. no big deal, will basically decide my life for me. my apartment is nice to come home to.. it's close to campus.. the roomie is cool as well. seriously don't think i could have found anyone better at such a short notice. her bf is a nice guy as well, he's either here on the weekends or she's gone..
speaking of the opposite sex, i feel like such a dirtball lately. i swear to fucking god all i can do is think about sex half the time. i see a hot guy and all i can think of are the dirty things i want to do to him. it's fucking not normal haha. i just want someone who will stay over every so often for a little fun.. is that so much to ask? lol... no attachments, please..
gah i just get a little lonely sometimes. being in columbus and away from everyone is weird. i don't know that many people up here. i mean classes just started but i don't want to ask people to hang. i don't want to be that weird forward girl. i really feel like i'm in good need of crying. but everytime i think i'm going to bawl, nothing happens. it's like i can't cry. it's fucked up.
ughh, my calves are so fucking sore. i worked out at the rpac tues night.. in this step/sculpt class. it fucking kicked my god damn ass. seriously, at one point i thought i was going to pass out and die. the whole time i was laughing hysterically or giving really smartass remarks about the instructor. the other chicks in there enjoyed it, and let's face it, i love being at the center of attention. i just thought it would be some dumb stepping thing, but we worked on that, abs, and arms. and god fuck. and guess what? i fucking signed up for the class.. ahahah. so every tues i'm going to have my ass kicked in that shit. oh well, i really feel like a lazy fuck being here all the time watching tv 5 hours a day. plus i wouldn't mind trimming up. i know poeple are like youre so skinny blah blah but when i played ball i had a fucking fit body. no little tummy roll.. i fucking hate that. plus my ass needs some shaping up.
random/ i was taking a piss today and a fucking giant ass centipede came crawling around my feet. i swear i was sitting on the toilet with my knees up to my face. jesus. i hate bugs. it took me 20 minutes to get up the nerve to kill the little bastard. i even went outside hoping to find some macho alpha male to kill it for me. no such luck. but alas, now i can piss without being disrupted. haha..
i need to pay bills tomorrow.. and i need to remember to call chris and get my tattoo appointment set up. i would go ahead and get my skull and cross bones, but i'm thinking i should wait til christmas, stack up some money from relatives. [psh, yeah right] i can't decide whether i want to get 1 on each foot and go for like a good/evil kinda thing. get one all badass in red and black and have the other really cute and vibrant. or just get a killer colored one all femaled up on my back. well on the right of my lower back. no tramp stamp, thank you. been thinking about getting my tragus done again. but fuck. 50 bucks. if it weren't such a weird place i'd just do it with my peircing gun. i'd like to eventually have both sides done.. god dammit why did i let that grow back! ugggh...
alright, now that i've bored myself to death, forrest gump is on tv...
|
|
| its just like... |
[24 Sep 2007|11:51am] |
i want no part in this.
while some people might think its okay to fuck people over, i want nothing to do with it.
i'm fine with being friends, but i draw the line there. that is that..
|
|
| seriously.......... |
[23 Aug 2007|05:37pm] |
BIRTH CONTROL PEOPLE............... IT FUCKING WORKS WONDERS.
do us all a favor, and fucking buy some!!
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
nyoonch's journal